Review: Futanari Moans and the Mummy’s Hand (Job) by Sally Bend

Futanari Moans, amateur archaeologist and professional tomb raider, has unearthed her share of ancient treasures. With her only weapon the swollen, dripping appendage strapped to her thigh, Moans journeys across the Middle East, dodging traps, scarabs, and undead creatures, while battling foes from home and abroad.
All in pursuit of a forbidden relic that will unlock the key to her futanari transformation, and give her the power to reclaim a future denied her by one government’s shocking betrayal. It's a frantic scramble to an explosive climax, a deliciously messy finish dictated by the magic of the Mummy’s Hand.

Packed with 11,000 words of pulp futa adventure, complete with a taboo side of monster erotica, this introduction to the world of Futanari Moans is superbly silly, and scandalously sexy!

In the interest of full disclosure, I like Sally Bend personally and she’s been a great supporter of mine for a very long time, too.  I’m going to be very enthusiastic about her latest story, and I hope you believe me when I say it is an honest review from my point of view, and not just me playing nice with a fellow writer.  With that caveat out of the way, Sally’s latest story is a kind-of parody of the Indiana Jones films, but with an exceptionally lewd and wonderful twist.  Futanari Moans and the Mummy’s Hand (Job) is in many ways a very silly story, with a heroine who is alternately incredibly capable and completely distracted by her own… ahem… assets that she sometimes lucks into good fortune.  But I get ahead of myself.

When we first meet Futanari Moans, she’s already in the midst of an adventure, a quest to retrieve the hand of a mummy.  We know little about her to begin with, save for the bimbo-inspired manner of speaking she is saddled with and the rather extreme size of her phallus, which she keeps wrapped in a condom so she can occasionally get some sustenance from her ever-leaking cock thanks to a custom-made straw.  See, it’s that sort of thing that makes this story so fun.  It is filled with a hundred tiny details about Futanari Moans, none of which are over-explained.  She actually feels like, you know, a character.

When she runs afoul of some guards, Futanari finds herself trapped within a buried tomb, forced to contend with traps and puzzles and, yes, the mummy of the title.  It is very difficult to write stories in which a character is almost always alone, but Sally Bend does it with ease here, creating a fun and exciting story that has more than its share of kink.  Oddly, it’s the audacity of the main character and her sexuality that makes the store feel so light, and I don’t mean without gravitas, but rather the spirit of whimsy that the story suggests.  Even as the main character is battling ancient mummies who seem more interested in exploring her body than stalking stuffy aristocrats, there’s a playfulness in both the writing and the character that makes this a pleasure to read.

I adore Sally’s writing style and the floral (and sometimes outrageously explicit) touches that elevate an author from capable to very good.  She honestly cares about her stories, and that care shows in the pages.  When details emerge about Futanari’s origins, it is done piecemeal and consciously, and is all the more effective for it.  I am very excited to read more about this character and her journey of self-discovery.  She is poised to be one of the great characters in tg and futa fiction, with spirit and pluck to spare.  If you like a little humor in your erotica, this is a must-read, and my only real complaint is that there will certainly be a wait for the further adventures of Futanari Moans.  I, for one, will be waiting!

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